Finding peace

So I feel like a lot has been happening in my life in the last little while. Although it really isn't actually that much. I've been doing a lot of thinking about things, and contemplating my life and who I am, and I've come to a lot of real neat conclusions. I struggle a lot with wishing that people could really know me....really just understand me and all that I am. Because often I feel like I'm almost alone in my little world.....and oh how wonderful it would be if someone could just know me so completely....all of who I am....and just totally understand all of me and why I do what I do and say what I say....and absolutely love me on top of all that. I got to thinking about this, and I was struck with the thought..."Who even am I? Do I even know myself? Am I transparent with those around me....or do I hide....out of fear of being truly known?" These thoughts don't really even make that much sense to me....but somehow they are all there and all very real. In the last little while, I've been trying to figure out for myself who I am. Who I am when no one is around...who I am when I'm not worrying about what others think.....who I am if I don't constantly surround myself with people.....who I am in my Creator's eyes. I'm trying to learn how to become more of who I am rather than more of who I feel the people around me what me to be. I want to learn how to become more of me. Whoever it is that God created me to be...that's who I want to become. And if any people are going to love me.....they're going to love me for me.....just straight up Kristan Louise Perpeluk. I've been spending a lot more time at home spending time with myself. And I've been learning that I don't need to be out with people every single night in order to be aware that I am valued and loved. I'm learning to appreciate myself and everything that I am as a person. I guess I've been learning to quiet my life down....and create some peace within my heart. It's only been a few short weeks...and already my spirit feels much more full of peace and stillness than before. I guess that that's perhaps what I want for this new year....to become more of me and to really discover peace in my soul. God is so good to me....peace only comes through him....and I love what he does in my life when I allow him. I just love him.