How do I step out...and be brave?

No matter how big and tough a problem may be, get rid of confusion by taking one little step toward solution.

Do something.

Then try again.

At the worst so long as you don't do it the same way twice,you will eventually use up all the wrong ways of doing it;and thus, the next try will be the right one.
~George F. Nordenholt~

I got this in an e-mail. It really made me stop and think. This advice is perhaps something I need to consider taking. If I have a problem or a situation that needs solving or resolving...I always tend to wait until I can think of the best possible solution. Then maybe...if I really think it's good enough...I'll give that a try. Taking little steps toward solution is not something I'm familiar with. Just trying anything. Giving something a shot. I'm fearful of things becoming worse or farther away from being solved than they already are, if I try something that wasn't exactly right. But then....where does that leave me? Exactly where I am. Exactly where I've been forever. I'm afraid of risks because I'm afraid of being hurt...or hurting someone else. But then...what fun is it to just sit back and play it safe all the time. It's alright as long as things end up going your way. But how often does that really happen? I think that this is something that I need to learn.....to try things....to take risks. And maybe things will end up crappy. And I'll know for the future that that was a bad approach. Or maybe they'll end up wonderful...in a way they never would have had I continued to sit back and do nothing. Of course this is all just a bunch of talk until I actually apply this to my life. It sounds easy enough. But things like this require bravery...and humility...and absolute trust in God. I want to be there. I want to do all the things my heart longs to do....and say all the things my heart longs to say....but that I'm too afraid to. And believe me...there are many things. But I guess the best way to learn is to give it a try. What have I got to lose?

"In God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?"
Psalm 56:11

Merry Christmas!!!

Well here are my favourite pics of my brother and sister and I on Christmas. We definitely had some good times with the camera. It was a really wonderful day all in all. We all got along with each other really well and had a lot of good laughs and smiles. I am very thankful for this day. God is so good to me. I don't know if I could have asked for a better day today. I was also really blessed to be able to go to church this morning. How happy it was to be able to see my friends....my "family"....on Christmas day, and to celebrate the love of my God for me. How good it is to be loved by him. Blessing after blessing he pours out. And I am so thankful today! Merry Christmas to everyone! I love you all from the bottom of my heart! If I was there I would hug you!

Luke 2:7-14

And she brought forth her firstborn Son, and wrapped Him in swaddling cloths, and laid Him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn. Now there were in the same country shepherds living out in the fields, keeping watch over their flock by night. And behold, an angel of the Lord stood before them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were greatly afraid. Then the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid, for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy which will be to all people. For there is born to you this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. And this will be the sign to you: You will find a Babe wrapped in swaddling cloths, lying in a manger.” And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying: “Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, goodwill toward men!”

Fun for me!

K, guys...I got this off of Tanya's blog and I love to do these things....so of course I did it. It's here for y'all to see or even copy/paste and do for yourself. Enjoy!

1. Name & webpage: Kristan Perpeluk....this is my webpage...right here...you're on it
2. How do you decide between two equally appealing options? I think about it long and hard and eventually just pick one really quickly and just decide that that's gonna be it before I can change my mind.
3. What's one song to desribe how you're feeling at the moment? You Raise Me Up...Josh Groban
4. When & what was the last healthy thing you ate? Ummm.....I ate a bagel for supper....and fruit for lunch....both fairly healthy
5a. How do you go about getting someone to do a favor for you? I ask them.....how else are you supposed to go about it?
5b. What do you do when they say no? Say please
6. How do you feel about making decisions for other people? Mmmm.....I don't think I'm really a fan of making other people's decisions. Probably they won't like what I decide and then I'll be to blame
7. How is the weather right now? Mmm.....beautiful winter weather right now
8. Last person you spoke to on the phone? Kristen
9. In what place/situation do you do your best thinking? Probably in the car
10. What area of your life/space is the most organized? I make things the most organized at work.....I like to make things look as perfect as they can.
11. What area of your life/space is the least organized? Hard to say....not really sure
12. Are you easily embarassed? Mmmm....no not really.....but then, sometimes yes
13. What do you do when you are embarrassed? Laugh at myself and make it appear like I don't even care
14. How do you react to someone you find attractive? I usually don't show any outward reaction....my reaction is internal
15. Are you traditional when it comes to dating? Mmm.....I'd say so....I prefer to be pursued rather than do the pursuing....but sometimes....it just doesn't work out that way
16. What do you do to vent anger?I leave the situation and usually go for a walk or something where I can just think for a while and calm down
17. What was your favorite toy as a child? I had a few....one of them was a stuffed rabbit....he ws blue and had a rainbow stomach...his name was Thumper and I loved him
18. Who do you miss from your past? I don't really know.....I haven't really had anyone in my past who I miss a lot or who isn't in my present as well
19. Hugs or kisses? Both can be good under different circumstances
20. What is your favorite game? Well......I have grown quite fond of Catch Phrase....though I haven't gotten to play it in a while
21. How competitive are you? I definitely have a competitive bone in me....I try not to let it take over though
22. When was the last time you cried?Hmmm......oh yes....Friday night
23. Who is the friend you have had the longest? Jenna Regehr....since we were 3!
24. What did you do last night? I went to floor hockey, and then Jenna came over for an hour or so and then I headed over to Scott and Jasmine's and watched Cinderella Man with them and Juliegh and Rhett and Dan
25. What inspires you? Some people, nature, music, other things
26. What are you afraid of? Being disliked, bugs, snakes, bats...all those typical girl things to be afraid of, dying before I get to do all I hope to
27. Number of keys on your key ring? One
28. How many states/provinces have you lived in? Just one....good ol' Saskatchewan
29. When is the most productive time of day for you? Afternoon to evening
30. Would you prefer a crowd of fun acquaintances or just a few good friends? I like both of those options

Giant step of faith

There has been so much going on in my life lately. So many things that I find myself thinking about and worrying about and stressing over. Somehow along the way, my life has become stirred up and unpeaceful. My soul has become restless and uneasy. From conflicts with friends, to brave moves I might find myself making, to big decisions coming up ahead for me, to family problems, to many other things......it's definitely a rough patch in life right now. We're not on calm serene waters anymore. We've hit some whitecaps. Reminds me of the last canoe trip I was on. Nasty rough waters. If I don't continue to exert my effort into thinking about things and trying to deal with things, then I will simply be swept away and overtaken by everything. It's a little bit overwhelming, I'm not going to lie. I haven't had this much on my plate in a long time. I find myself thinking about what I should do in order to make things turn out the best. How I should handle everything. Somehow...in the midst of all the noise and commotion in my heart and mind...God managed to speak to me with his tender loving voice that I love so much. And he tells me, "Kristan, I understand that you care so much about everything that is going on in your life, that you desperately want to find the best way to handle it all. You don't want to hurt anybody, or make any wrong decisions....or hurt yourself. Please let me take the load off your shoulders. I promise you that if you trust me with these things, that I will not let you down. I know just the perfect way to resolve each situation. I will bring peace back to your heart. You just need to give it to me....and trust me." Oh how I struggle with this. Even though God has never given me reason not to trust him. He has always proven faithful. His endings are always better than mine would've been. I came across a verse in the Message....really struck a chord with me...
"But if you see that the job is too big for you, that it's something only God can do, and you trust him to do it -- you could never do it for yourself no matter how hard and long your worked -- well that trusting-him-to-do-it is what gets you set right with God, by God. Sheer gift." Romans 4:5
When there are this many things going on in my life...way too much for me to think about or handle...what else is there to do but trust God with it? How else do you get through? How else is God's will brought about? So I choose to trust God....right now....with everything. I believe that all will end in good....and it will be beautiful!

Aaargh!!

Some people do things that make me sooooo ANGRY!! And what do I do?!?! Just sit there like a freaking bump on a freaking log and let the stupidity carry on. STUPID!! That's all I have to say.

Accutane

Well...something very exciting has happened this week.....well at least it's exciting for me. Most likely not for anyone else. As I'm sure you all know...I have this horrible problem with acne. Have my whole life. Not gonna lie....it sucks...a lot. Looking around at all my friends who have beautiful clear skin without a blemish in sight, undoubtedly makes me more than a tad jealous. But whatever. I learn to deal with it. Afterall...I'm not the only person in the world who suffers from acne, right? Right. So I just suck it up....and press forward with my life. Having a lifelong pity party won't get me anywhere. So up until this point in my life....I've lived with this. I believe it has helped me to develop a lot of self confidence that I might not have otherwise had. Having acne can be an embarassing thing that can wear upon a persons self esteem. I guess I've learned to be confident in who I am in spite of it. I haven't let it affect me as much as it potentially could have. Ok...but now on to the good news......there is this drug called Accutane. It is the most powerful acne treatment drug in existence right now. Works miracles. Will clear you right up and erase any signs that you ever had an acne problem in the first place. And I just got a prescription for accutane this week! This is a joyful occasion in my life. Something to be celebrated. The concept of clear skin is foreign to me.....but it's gonna happen!! I guess I just feel blessed to have this drug made available to me. I'm really lucky. And happy! :)

mystery...

I am sitting here at my computer.....wishing that I could gather my thoughts enough to be able to know what I want to write about right now. All I know is I want to write. I don't know...maybe this might sound weird to everyone.....I sometimes wish that I could just write down what I'm thinking...reagardless of what it is. Like as if no one else was going to read it but me. But at the same time.....a small part of me wishes that I could pour out my soul, for everyone to read and hear and learn about. I think that inside of everyone is a desire to be really known and understood. To be so transparent and vulnerable. I have so many things that I would like to say in this space.....but at the same time, I have this fear of being known. What would people think if they knew this about me? How would they react if they knew I felt this way about them? Would my friends still love me....if they really knew me? I wish that I could just tell everyone what I think about them or about myself or about life. And then that's it. Just put it out there...and then people would know. Rather....I choose not to put these thoughts on here for the public to see. I resort to writing it down elsewhere or telling a few people here and there. I feel that people will best know me after I die. My secrets will no longer be secrets, my thoughts will be out there for everyone to finally know about. It's a shame that it will take my death for this to happen. But on the flip side.....maybe I don't want the whole world to know everything about me.....maybe the fact that there are some things that certain people have no idea about me, is helping me to keep a sense of mystery to myself. Who would want to get to know me, if I shared every last detail about myself with them? There would be nothing left to learn. But I mean....guaranteed, if I knew I was going to die in the next 24 hours, I wouldn't hesitate to tell a lot of people how I feel about them...or thoughts I've always kept to myself. I want people to know me....I just don't want to have to tell them. Perhaps one day....I'll be brave enough to be more transparent and vulnerable. For now....I will just carry on....as I am.....praying that everything that needs to be made known, will be. And the rest will remain a mystery, I guess.

Fun in the snow!

So team...it is officially winter out there. And for some reason...I seem to think that it is absolutely marvelous. I am just loving the snow so very much this holiday season. Especially today in this BeAuTiFuL weather!! Yay for sunshine and warm balmy winter days. Hallelujah!! Lol. So last night after choir practice (which I loved being part of, by the way)my good friends Jenna and Dan and I came up with the wicked awesome idea to go tobogganing. SO that we did. Man, I LoVe tobogganing sooo very much. I would personally like to shake the hand of the person who came up with the brilliant idea of sliding down a snowy hill. Sheer brilliance. So even though there were still some grassy patches and what not....we had a pretty darn good time, I'd say. Inside of all of us is a big urge to just be a kid and play. And what a wonderful feeling it is when you do just that. So..I look forward to many more wonderful winter fun experiences ahead this year.

My wonderful friends

I've been thinking lately about how wonderful my life is. Now, for sure, I have my times when I feel like everything sucks and I hate everything and I just have nervous breakdown little school girl bawling sessions. But all in all, my life is pretty alright. It baffles me why this is my life. You know, this....right here...in the north end of Saskatoon. Why am I so fortunate to have this huge blessing? Why am I not a starving child with aids in Africa? I never chose this for myself. The fact that I can go for walks through my neighbourhood without fear of being shot or raped, or the fact that I have a roof over my head and a beautiful bed all to myself and running water and food in my fridge, or the fact that there is a slim to none chance that I will be affected by a major natural disaster.....all of these things are cause for praise and celebration. I don't deserve this comfort. But God is in the business of giving us gifts that we can never earn or deserve. He just loves to bless us. He just loves it. And then if that isn't enough.....he decides to bless the remaining areas of my life in great abundance. I am convinced that I have the greatest group of friends in the entire world. Now this is something I think about often, because there are very few things that I love and treasure more than my friends. I have such beautiful, wonderful, amazing friends in my life. They are truly my family. I love to be with them as much as I can. (As many of you have probably noticed...I like to stay out and hang out and not go home away from my friends...lol) We can be real with each other. We can share our innermost thoughts and feelings without fear of being ridiculed or judged. I have never felt unwelcome or unaccepted. In the company of my friends, I feel like I belong. I feel like I am loved, and that who I am is good enough.

"My dear, dear friends! I love you so much. I do want the very best for you. You make me feel such joy, fill me with such pride. Don't waver. Stay on track, steady in God."
Philippians 4:1 (Msg)

Wow!! This verse pretty clearly portrays how I feel about my friends. They are everything to me. So....to close.....if you are reading this....I LOVE YOU!!! Ok? I'm so serious. I apologize for not saying it more...if ever. But just always know that I love you and that you are important to me. Blessings to you all. :)

Great encouragement for me

So tonight, after going to the musical with Dan and Kyla and Jana, (which was extremely unusual and impossible to understand, by the way) we headed over to Tim Hortons for quite a while and sat and chatted about a bunch of things. Jana took off to work and so left the three of us there in our conversation. And as has been happening more often lately, usually when I'm around Dan, a religious discussion breaks out. Now, I love when this happens and I only wish that it would happen more among us. But.......at the same time.....being involved in discussions of this nature tend to make me feel inferior and somewhat stupid. Usually I tend to do much much more listening than talking because I feel as if I don't know my Bible well enough to even have a valid opinion about anything. Which also seems weird to me as I have done quite a bit of Bible reading in my short Christian life thus far. I've read it cover to cover once and as of December 31st of this year I will be done it for the second time, as well as much additional reading all around in there. And yet, I feel like I've completely missed everything important. I feel like I can't say what I'm thinking because in the moment I feel like I don't even know if what I'm thinking has any validation whatsoever. Like everything that I've always thought that I've known is suddenly being questioned and I don't know anything about what I think I know. If that makes any sense to anyone. Especially around Dan. I feel like he knows his Bible so well that he has such a firm basis for all his thoughts and opinions. LIke he just knows exactly what he's talking about all the time. In a way it's kinda crappy that I feel this way. Obviously I'm not stupid and I do know a lot of things and my thoughts and opinions do have a basis and are valid. But on the other hand....I guess maybe...being around Dan makes me want sooo badly to dive soo much deeper into my Bible than I ever have before. I feel like I want to read it all the time and learn as much as I possibly can. Dan's knowledge and his passion for what he knows and believes, makes me want to have more of that. I want to learn as much as I can about this book that God has given us. I want to understand it as much as my human mind is capable of, and I want to have great confidence in what I believe. I want to know Jesus better, and have as intimate a relationship with him as I can. I like feeling like I'm being challenged in this way. Because as of right now I feel as if I have no place in religious discussions, because what I have learnt is minimal in comparison to those around me. Now, I don't on any means want to be comparing my faith or myself to that of others, but it is just encouraging me to become sure in my walk with God. To just live life with him....him and I....I and him...together....and be so sure and confident in that. I pray that this is something I will never forget or lose sight of. That I will always have a great desire to grow and learn more and draw closer to Jesus. It's been a great lesson for me lately, I guess. And I'm really grateful.

Frustrated.....grrr...

K, you know how on What Women Want, Mel Gibson can like hear what all the women are thinking all the time and what not? Man oh man....sometimes I just wish that I could have that ability for a little bit. I might hear a lot of thoughts that I wouldn't want to hear, but it would also help me out right now in clearing things up a bit. YOu know how some people are just so hard to read and you can never tell what they are thinking? Man....hugest situation of that nature over here. I'm not the best at reading people to begin with....as hard as I try...I still have not mastered it as of yet. And there is this one person in particular whom I cannot read accurately if my life depended on it. One of those crazy mysterious ones who are so good at guarding their thoughts and feelings from the public eye. You just never can be too sure. Although, I am quite sure that in due time, everything will be understood and all good. I just gotta have patience. Let me tell you...patience is hard to have when you don't want to be patient. But unfortunately, that's the route I'll be traveling for a while it seems...the road of patience. Just prayer for patience for me would be so FaNtAsTiC! Even though this post has been very vague and uninformative...ya, sorry about that...I would still like your prayers for patience. Thank you kindly. You're all beautiful!

Beautiful people

Yesterday was my beautiful friend Jana's birthday. I just love that girl soooooooooooo much! I'm not even lying or exaggerating when I say that she is one of my favourite people on the face of the earth. She just amazes me by the way that she keeps on getting more and more beautiful and radiant and marvelous EVERY SINGLE DAY!!! Oh Man!!! She's unreal. I love her...sooo very much. And what a blessing it has been to have her in my life. I learn so much from her and look up to her a lot. She is someone to be admired, there is no doubt about that. I spent the day with her again today. And Dan as well. We went over to Jana's place and chilled out and watched a movie. Well mostly they watched and I went to sleep. But it was still wonderful. I could be in the company of friends 24/7 and be so completely content and happy. My friends are my world. I just feel so blessed. Aaaahhh.....beautiful people.....they are all beautiful and marvelous.

Stupid cough

Man, being sick sucks. I've developed this nasty awful cough that is sucking the life right outta me.I'm so congested in my chest and I'm just coughing up flem and it SuCkS!!!! I mean....I'm alright if I don't talk or laugh or move around or breath through my mouth. Then I'm ok. So ya...you get the picture. Crappy!! To make things even better...I think I'm like an insomniac. There are lots of nights where I just cannot fall asleep for the life of me, regardless of how tired I am. Ya, last night was one of those nights. Sure didn't fall asleep 'til around 5:00 this morning. Man, I just hate that. It's so frustrating just lying in bed, dead tired, and you don't know what you could do different to make your body fall asleep. If anyone has any suggestions of any sort, I would be delighted to hear them. Oh and I also hate the medi-clinic....but I won't get into that....it'll get me all riled up for no reason. So basically, for the majority of this week, you should expect to find me at home in my sweatpants tuning in to Oprah and Dr. Phil or other activities of equal laziness. So that's all I have to say right now. Perhaps later, I'll think of something a little more insightful.

Simply marvelous...

Tonight was truly fabulous!!! I loved every second of every part of it!! Youth was great. We spent a lot of time just sitting and listening.....trying with open ears to hear God's voice. Then we all wrote a letter to God....just being so very honest and real about what is going on in our lives and how we're doing. Man, I could have just written and written and written some more. It's a hard thing to do....just sit down and pour out your soul to God about everything that's making up your life right now. Hard.....but very good and worthwhile. Very freeing, I felt. So that was truly great to have that time. I definitely needed that. Afterwards, I had some people over to watch a movie. That was really great.....I haven't really had people over that much since we moved in here....and I really like to. I think I should start doing it more. So we watched Kicking And Screaming, and after that was over, most people went home. Dan and Kyla and Kevin and I went out for a walk to Tim Hortons. Man....it was sooooo awesome. Going for walks with your friends...priceless. Such good quality time. So we made it to Tim Hortons and got some drinks and then headed out on even more of an adventure. Kev went home and Dan and Kyla and I continued on to Scott and Jasmine's house. There was a bunch of people over there. So we stayed and chilled there for a bit and then we walked back to here, at which point, Kyla and Dan went home. What an AwEsOmE night. Praise God for my awesome awesome friends and for the great fabulous time I had walking around with them tonight. It was simply marvelous. Only God knows how very much my friends truly mean to me. Thanks God! You're the best!

Please pray...

So this morning wasn't the best I've eer had. I woke up to my mom coming in my room to say that she's leaving for Regina in about half an hour. It turns out that my grandma fell and broke her hip and is now in the hospital. So yea...my mom and sister left this morning to Regina to be with my grandma. It's very hard for me to think about. I hate that my grandma is in the hospital somewhere with a broken hip. She must feel so helpless. My mom told me how she was nervous about the possibility of my grandma maybe having to go in for surgery. She's a fairly weak woman and my mom fears that it may be possible that she might not make it through. I just ask for all of your prayeres for my grandma and my family right now. Only God knows what is best. Truthfully....the thought of my grandma not being around really more scaes me a lot. She is not a Christian. It's times like this that I find myself suddenly in panic mode jut praying frantically for my grandma's salvation. Why does it take the possibility of death being very near for me to begin to pray urgently? Why isn't today just as urgent as any other day? Perhaps it should be. So ya, I just want to ask for your prayers over this situation. Thank you!

Romans 6:13

"Do not offer the parts of your body to sin, as instruments of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God, as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer the parts of your body to him as instruments of righteousness."

This verse gives a pretty clear depiction of how I was thinking and feeling tonight. I was thinking about my body and how much I use it to bring glory to God compared to how much I don't. I was at the church to pray this afternoon, and I took advantage of the opportunity to just let loose and use my body to bring joy to God. I cranked up the music and just danced around for a while......I haven't felt like my body has been used for something so beautiful in a long time. I just occurred to me that why don't I make an effort to use my body for his majesty every second of the day? Regardless of what I'm doing. To strive for absolute purity and modesty and grace and health and love. I can use my body for all of these things......24/7. So why don't I? Afterall, my body is not my own anyways. It already belongs to God. I'm just living in it for the time being....until he takes me home. How would God like this body of mine to be used? Totally for his glory and honour I can imagine. I think I'm going to start keeping that in mind. I wonder how my life would look different if I honoured God with every word and every move and every step. Quite beautiful I bet.

God works in sensational ways!

Do you ever feel as if for one moment, you were exactly where you were meant to be, when you were meant to be there? God is marvelous in that way. Tonight, I was having a strangely rough time with myself. I felt as if I don't know who I am, or what the heck God is hoping to make of me. I feel like I'm just existing and that I am somewhat worthless if I don't know exactly what my great purpose in life is. I wanted to go out for a walk with my dog when I got home from hanging out with Dan and Jana and Kyla tonight. But my mom wouldn't let me because she believed it was too late, which led me to become even more frustrated and unhappy with life. So I came on msn for who knows what reason. This is now the moment I was referring to, when I felt like I was supposed to be right here right then. Dan and I started talking and I shared my frustrations with him. We talked about it for a while. Dan is very smart and very wise. He basically re-affirmed what I already knew, but had lost sight of in my frustration. Maybe God knew that that was all I needed. Just a conversation with someone to bring me some encouragement. I guess I just appreciate my friend Dan. And I'm glad that we're friends. It really is true that overall, God really does know what is the very best for me. Afterall, he did know that one day I would be in this state of frustration and hopelessness and that I would just need someone to talk to for 15 minutes tonight. Maybe that's why God created a friendship between Dan and I. Maybe......maybe not. But I'm thankful nonetheless.

It doesn't seem great enough

I feel as if I love people too much. Now I don't actually think that's possible, but somehow, that's how I'm left feeling sometimes.There are friends that I have that I simple LoVe to be with! Like, take this as literally as possible because that is how I mean it. There are some people specifically who especially fall into this category. Here's an illustration to better get across my feelings here...whenever I go to babysit Quin and Abby, they are always waiting in the window when I pull up, and it's just so obvious that they have been waiting in eager expectation for me to get there because they knew that I was on my way. As I come in the front door they run over to greet me and it's quite obvious that they are thrilled for me to be there with them. This is a pretty good depiction of how I feel about some people. I feel like my heart isn't big enough to hold all of the love that I feel for them inside, and so sometimes I feel like I am acting like a small child in being overwhelmed with excitement to be with that person. I usually try to keep these displays of happiness to a minimum because I feel like maybe people might feel smothered or overwhelmed or something if they really knew. If they really knew how much I love them and want to be with them. I feel like I have to hold some of my love back to keep things at a comfortable. I guess maybe I'm just scared to love as much as my heart wants to sometimes. I wonder why this is. I have no logical explanation. It just is the way it is. Maybe I feel like I can only show as much love to people as I feel that they are showing to me. Maybe it all goes back to old wounds and remembering what it feels like to have more feelings for someone than they had for me. Maybe I'm scared of being hurt. It's sad I guess....to be scared to love. I pray that I would learn how to love limitlessly, so that I wouldn't feel like I'm hiding all of my love from the people I feel it for the most. I guess maybe this is the beginning of a journey that I need to take. So.....here we go, I guess.

Why put off 'til tomorrow what you can do today?

So I was at the gym on Wednesday evening. Jenna managed to get me to drag my but there with her. So there I was sitting on a bike for a good 40 minutes looking at a random magazine that was sitting on the counter. No, there was one article in particular that caught my attention. I talked about how we tend to always dream about the future and think about all the things that could happen one day or that we would like to do one day. It's the when/then attitude. For example, "WHEN I finally can find a job that gives me more than 10 hours a week and pays more than minimum wage, THEN I will be able to think about what it might be like to buy a car, or move away from home." It just seems like a hopeless situation, because no matter what job I have or what my circumstances are, it's always going to seem as if there's something that I don't have that I need in order to have what I want. I will always subconciously create a dilema that keeps me from stepping out and really living. I mean, obviously I don't have enough money to be able to move away from home right now. But that doesn't change the fact that one day I will. Why not have a little piece of it now? I mean, why don't I buy a coffee mug or two that I really love? Or why don't I learn how to cook right now? I mean eventually I'm gonna have to know how to really feed myself, right? Why don't I begin enjoying these things now? I don't need to wait. And maybe I should take up something I've always wanted to do but always said I'd do it "one day"? What's stopping me from really living my life right now? What am I waiting for? Do I think that it's all just going to happen on it's own? I mean, I want to really enjoy my life now! The only thing that's stopping me is me. I guess it's just been kind of a wake up call to me. I want to live with passion and excitement and enjoyment. So....maybe I will.

The Exorcism of Emily Rose

Wow! So I went to see this movie last night with my brother. It's a very very interesting movie. Guarunteed, it is kind of freaky to see lots of it. But the fact that it's a true story kind of changes how you see it. I highly recommend it, especially for Christians. It really brings to light the battles of the spiritual realm and how they are always there. In one part of the movie, the priest was talking with his lawyer about demons, and he said to her that they exist whether or not she believes in them. I think that that is very true of everything spiritual. In regards to God and the devil and angels and demons and everything of that nature; it's so true that it all undoubtedly exists whether or not anyone believes it. It's kind of sad in a way. So many people either choose not to believe or are oblivious to the fact that there is a God who is bigger than their minds can fathom, who loves them more than any person does or could. It was definitely a very spiritual movie, as it followed the life of Emily Rose as she was posessed by demons. Things beyond our world were undeniably involved. It was really sad as I heard people throughout the crowded theater laughing at parts that were definitely no laughing matter. These people have no idea that their lives are in desperate need of a God who can save them from themselves and from the evil forces that exist all around us. It was a real eye opener for me, I guess. Emily Rose got to experience the spiritual realm in a VERY real way. I feel like maybe I haven't come to realize the reality of God in my life, the way things were real to Emily. Perhaps this is keeping my relationship with him from flourishing. What would happen if I decided to pursue the reality of God? If he was as real to me as anyone or anything else is? Maybe then, my life would be on the track it was designed for. Maybe then I will know that I am where I am supposed to be when I'm supposed to be there. Maybe then.....will I truly be in love with my creator.

Praise God for Men

Hey everyone. I think I figured out what my problem is. I think that I usually avoid writing something because I feel like I have to have something profound to say each time. But I discovered that I don't have to know what I'm gonna write ahead of time. If I just sit down and write whatever comes to me, something half decent usually comes out. So here I am. I'm just curious about something. Who all reads this anyways? Is Kristin Clark the only one I'm writing for? Ha ha. K, how 'bout if you read this post then you shoud leave a comment just so I know who all reads this. Just to satisfy my own personal curiosity. Anyways...I've been discovering lately, some things.....that I just realized might be sketchy to write depending on who reads this. But what the heck. Whatever. I mean I have nothing to lose by being transparent, right? So I discovered that when I develop any sort of an attraction to a guy that instantly my nature wants to go into flirt mode, which I try to control as best as I can. And honestly, I don't believe that flirting is all bad, as long as it is used in moderation and it doesn't become a way of life. And I'll admit that I have a small tendency to flirt a bit...I think. Ok? You caught me. I'm guilty. I especially notice this about myself in times like right now when there are specific guys that I am particularly attracted to. This tendency of mine, although small and completely not out of control, still bothers me for a couple reasons. The biggest reason is that, in my life, if ever a relationship were to start between a fellow and myself, I absolutely want it to be as a result of his pursuit for me. I truly and solidly believe that the man should be the pursuer and the female should be the pursued. So I want a relationship to begin without even a hint of my flirting being the cause of it. I can only pray that God would help me to control my actions in this department. And to all you men out there, I apologize if I flirt with you. Straight up. I'm sorry. But the truth is, I do know a lot of great quality guys who have many attractive qualities about them. So I can only thank God for creating such great men as these and that I am able to see examples of what solid men of God are all about. It's good for me to have in my life. Praise the good Lord for men!

I thought that this was a cute pic that Jenna took of me this summer. :)

Kristan Louise Perpeluk 

It's a sad, sick, but fantastic world out there

Today was just a great day. It was jam packed from the moment I woke up until right now as I prepare to head to bed. Work was particularily enjoyable today, as I got to work with Ashley whom I especially enjoy working with. She always seems very interested in my life and in who I am and in what I do and things like that. Today I told her the story of the twisted circle between Ryan and Candice and Josh and I. She thoroughly enjoyed that story, and thought it was even better when Ryan walked into the store today. She is so open to hearing what I have to say and I feel like God has given me a real opportunity with her. At one point I even went into the back room and prayed for a second that God would present me with opportunities today to portray Christ to her and that he would just make her heart so susceptible to what I have to say. And God was o faithful! All afternoon we talked about things and it was so awesome. BUT.........I am kicking myself because of one point of the conversation in particular. There was something that I should have said but I kept my stupid mouth shut and lost my chance to share some important things with her about myself and what I believe. I just hope and pray that God will orchestrate it so that Ashley and I will have more shifts together and that I will be presented with many more opportunities. I just praise God for Ashley and that she is such a fantastic person and that she can appreciate me for who I am even though my lifestyle is much different than hers. God is good. All the time. Tonight I went to a wedding with Ryan. It was a really fun time. We sat at a table with some guys that Ryan knows from the fire department in Langham and their wives. It was a really really fun time. I drank probably two entire bottles of non-alcoholic spritzer. My teeth hurt a lot now. But whatever. I also learned a lot about real life tonight. Just from observing, I was able to see how these old 40 year old men were talking about getting the phone number of some girl who appeared to be about my age because she looked particularly hot this evening. Or check out girls chests as they walked by our table. It's just a reminder of what a sick world we live in and how aware I need to be of the fact that things like this happen, whether I notice it or not. Maybe this is all the more reason for me to dress with modesty and decency. So that 40 year old men will not see me as an object. If there are any guys reading this, I just encourage you to truly try and understand what it means to treat a lady with the utmost respect, because her heavenly father is a king, which makes her a princess. And that's just how every girl wants to be treated. Myself included. Sometimes you just need rude awakenings like that in order to snap you back into reality and get you back on track. Praise the Lord for my night.

The Man of Noble Character

This was the passage for Monday from my devotional book and I really really loved it so I thought I'd share it with you all.This is taken from Proverbers 31 and written as what a man of noble charater would look like in a modern day setting.

Who can find a man of noble character?

He's worth far more than Bill Gates.

His wife has full confidence in him

and has everything she needs.

He brings her good, not harm,

all the days of his life.

He selects wood and screws

and builds with eager hands.

He's like Stuttaford Van Lines

bringing furniture from afar.

He gets up while it's still dark;

heading off to work so that his children and emplouees have all they need.

He considers a new store and purchases it;

out of his earnings he buys commodities.

He sets about his work vigorously;

weighing up his options.

He sees that his trading on the stock market is profitable,

and his office lamp is on late into the night.

He types away on the computer keyboard

and clicks the mouse with his index finger.

He reaches out to the poor

and washes dishes at the men's shelter.

When winter comes he has nothing to fear

for his house is insulated and heated by an electric furnace.

He washes and waxes the car;

he dreses up in a Pierre Cardin suit.

His wife is respected at the City Hall,

where she takes her seat amont the councillors.

He runs a chain of hardware stores

supplying builders, roofers, and carpenters with a variety or products.

He's known as a man of principle and integrity;

with a sense of humour he takes each day in his stride.

He speaks with wisdom,

telling others how they can have fullness of life in Jesus Christ.

He keeps an eye on everything concerning his family,

there isn't an idle bone in his body.

His children say, "Dad's cool!"

His wife thinks he's fantastic and praises him saying:

"Many men do great things,

but you're the best of the best."

Ability to work hard diminishes, and strength ebbs away;

but the man who loves the Lord with all his heart, soul, and mind, should be praised.

Give him the reward he has earned,

and let his good works bring him praise in high places.

So beautiful!

Wow!!! What an incredible weekend that was. God is so alive and awesome! Just everything about the weekend had God dwelling right in the very center of it. What a beautiful feeling. I believe that one of the best things about God is that no matter how badly you've screwed up or how far you've run away from him, he has no second thoughts about instantly embracing you as soon as you turn your heart back towards him. He is the most forgiving and loving God imaginable. And this was clearly evident throughout this weekend. There were some moments that were so powerful, it literally made me weak inside. My favourite part of the weekend was Sunday morning. To me, that was exactly how I always imagined exactly what church should be. Worshipping the awesomeness of our God as we fellowship in love and in communion. It was such a beautiful experience. I believe that times like that are so important. As we shared with one another the love we had for each other and what we meant to one another and broke bread and celebrated, there wasn't anything that was more beautiful in that moment. Also, one of my favourite parts about it all was the way the guys broke down and layed their hearts out on the table. There are two things that I think are the most beautiful about men: the first is when they get joy out of playing with children, or when they are holding a baby in their arms; the second is when they can show their love for one another. See, it's not a huge deal for a man to show love to a woman. But when men can express their love and appreciation for each other, it is one of the most beautiful things to see. Curtis and David were a perfect example of this. Those of you who were there know what I mean. What a beautiful thing that was. I love to see the tender side of the male species. The side that doesn't always have to be telling his friends to shut up or slap his friends in the gut every time they walk by each other. I love to see what mean are really about on their deepest level. Who are they when their tough exterior is removed? It's one of life's greatest mysteries, and one of the most beautiful things to see when you get a chance to see a glimpse of this part of them. I only wish that we didn't have to wait for these glimpses. I wish that it were easier to see the deeper parts of the male species. I guess this is just their mystery. But all in all, I think that that Sunday morning service may have been one of the most profound experiences many of us who were there have ever had. So many people were so broken and full of emotion and love for one another. I believe that we need to have more times such as that to express to each other how we feel about each other and what we appreciate about one another and why we love each other. It was so beautiful. That is the best word I can think of to describe the experience. I love my God so much. He is sooo good to me and his love is so marvelous. And I love my family in Christ and the way we all fellowshipped and celebrated with each other this weekend.

I'm back!

Hey guys, I'd like to apologize for not writing for so long. I really have no excuse. Maybe I thought that no one would really notice if I didn't write anything for a while. But apparently I was wrong. Kristin Clark told me last night that I need to write in my blog because she is obsessed with reading people's blogs. That's a happy thought. To think that people really like to read what I have to say. Usually I just feel like I'm rambling about the scattered thoughts that are running through my brain. But apparent;y some people find that interesting. And I mean really, how hard can it be to come up with even just one interesting thought each day. It's really not that hard. Which goes to show that either I am really lazy and not taking the time to write these thoughts of mine down, or else, that doesn't speak very highly of my thought life. So here I am....trying to pick up where I left off. I know that in the course of a day, my brain has a lot of thoughts and ideas and things that would be worth sharing. So why don't I? I don't know. But I'm gonna start. I would just like to close the fact that I love you all. If you are reading this, that means that you are a part of my life and have had an impact on who I am and who I am becoming. And I love you for it., For real. I do! All my love!

Lack of direction can be so frustrating sometimes

Wow, there has been so much running through my head lately. And I think that through all of it, I have grasped the fact that I need to develop a lot of patience. Such a big part of me desires to find a definite direction in my life. I want to find something that I love so much that it could be a potential career for me. I just feel like I want to have something stable and strong in my life that I can lean on for security. I desire to be independant and secure. I want to get out there in the world and make it on my own. I don't want to have to depend on any other person in order for me to have a home or a job or a car or anything else. I guess I just kind of struggle with the thought of not having a direction in my life. I feel like I'm just living. Just sorta coasting along waiting for my big purpose to reveal itself. This is where patience comes in. Whether or not I discover my career anytime soon should not determine how I live my life in the meantime. I know that Jesus asks that I just continue to press into him with each day and as time goes on, he will slowly reveal to me what he wants with me. But my true purpose can never come about if I don't allow myself to be directed by God. He is the author of my life and I want his story to simply be lived out through me. I guess that this is a lot easier said than done for me. I know what I have to do to set my life straight and in line with God's great plan, but I having trouble giving my life up sometimes. I guess this is just a process that God is taking me on right now. I just ask for your prayers in this journey: for patience in waiting until I discover what God's great plan is for me; for the passion to live life to the fullest, even in my moments of uncertainty; and for the perseverance to press into God every minute of every day so that I may find myself completely consumed by him. I know that I am very useable and that God will use me as long as I allow him to. I'm real excited to see what he wants with me.

Romance.....

I am such a hopeless romantic. Anything and everything that has to do with romance, just absolutely captures my attention . I was at my friends' Mandy and Shane's wedding yesterday. It was truly a beautiful wedding. I think that one of the most beautiful parts about it was that I have never seen a bride and a groom just stand there looking at each other with such innocence and respect. THey were completely captivated by eachother. As Mandy started to walk down the aisle, we all watched as Shane gently brushed away the tears that were beginning to come from his eyes. This was his bride, and his love and admiration for her was evident to everyone. They had a foot washing celebration during the ceremony, as a reflection of the way Jesus was a servant to everyone, so they wanted to be servants to each other in their marriage. Weddings are always my favourite events to be at. I could never understand why some people don't like going to weddings. Like I said before, I am a hopeless romantic. And to me, there is nothing in this world that is more romantic, than two lives becoming one in body, mind, and spirit. What a BeAuTiFuL thing!!!! It is like the epitome of romance right there. But being at a wedding such as this one can't help but make one long for the same kind of love and intimacy that this couple is sharing with each other. I often wish that I could be at that place with another person. I feel like I have a lot that I could offer to a man and that I'm not too bad of a catch. Lol. But then again, what person does not long for the greatest intimacy they can find? I so desperately long to have, in the flesh, a picture of Christ's love for his people......his bride. No, don't get me wrong, I'm not even close to being at the point of feeling sorry for myself for not having a man yet or anything. I Realize that I am still very young and that there is plenty of time for me to come across this form of love and romance and intimacy. I am just soooooo freaking excited for when that day comes!!! But I know that I have a lot to learn before that can happen. I often think about the qualities that I desire in my future husband. And the more I realize that I want these things in him, it makes me realize that maybe he desires the same things in me. This helps me to pursue these things with the desire of becoming the woman that God had in mind when he created me, as well as the woman that some man is dreaming of finding one day. My desire for a husband is that he would chase after God with ALL of his strength. I want to walk into a room and see the love of God just radiating out of that man's being. I desire for him to pursue purity with all of his might. That he would know that I am a beautiful gift from God to him, and that the wait can be nothing but beneficial to our relationship. I desire a man who truly can see me as a treaasure to be pursued for the rest of his days. And I hope that he will never lose that vision, because I believe that every woman deserves to be treated as a queen. But I know that all of these things will have to wait for a little while. I understand that I will never be able to experience true intimacy with any man before I realize that first and foremost can all of my desires for intimacy be met in the truest, most beautiful husband of all....Jesus Christ. Only after my satisfaction is found in him, will I be ready for this picture in the flesh. I love romance. I suppose I need to keep reminding myself that God himself is the author of romance. It doesn't get any more beautiful than that.

What an adventure it could be

Ok, so I'm not sure if I'm the strange one in all this, or if no one else is affected the same way that I am, but for real, there are some movies out there that just move me a certain way. Like for example watching Coach Carter gave me this burning desire to not be afraid to make something of my self. It made me just want to get out there and be somebody and chase after big dreams. Or how The Notebook makes me want to build a house with a big beautiful yard like the one on the movie. I watched Sahara last night for the second time, and that movie gives me such a desire to get out in the world and have an adventure. Undoubtedly the characters in the movie were not living dull boring lives, but rather they were out exploring the world having one adventure after the other. Man! That would be so awesome!! Then, all of a sudden, this tiny little lightbulb seemed to come on over my head. I started to see the connection between my spiritual journey and these dreams and desires. Why don't I direct these passions at God? Do I fear that because the movies that brought about these desires in the first place were not focused on God in any way shape or form, then maybe it wouldn't work out quite the same for me? Man, what a wake up call!!! Of course it would not work out the same!!! This is God we're talking about! Anything this world can deliver, my God can surpass and completely blow out of the water. I can still have my great adventures. I can still chase after big dreams. I can still be somebody. But all these things will be greater if the ultimate goal is Jesus Christ. If my focus is directed on him rather than on the things I'm trying to attain along the way, then all these things will be given to me in their greatest measure. Only then, will I truly be able to experience the truest adventure of all.

A desire for more

Wow, what an incredible God I worship. I feel like right now, I barely know him. I feel as if I have been pushing myself away from him in an attempt to be self sufficient and self reliant. But I realize that deep down in the corners of my heart I have always known what I was missing out on by doing this. My life has been merely drifting along without a realy purpose or direction. I feel like I have been simply existing instead of truly living this life that I was placed here to live. And I'm the one who's being cut short. God wants to walk with me down this path of life. It was, after all, he who gave life to me. Why should I not allow myself to be accompanied along this journey by the very one who put breath in my nostrils? I mean, really, who knows better what steps I am meant to take each day than the one who knew all the days ordained for me before one of them even came to be? I desire more for my life than what I am experiencing. I desire God and all his glory to radiate from my life. I want others to truly see Christ in me, whether they even know him or not. I've been reading Dwayne Harms' blog. I want to try and understand who this man was and try to grasp any amount of wisdom and insight from him that I can. I hae barely even made it into the beginning of July and already this man is teaching me so much about living in a relationship with Christ. It is more than a lifestyle. It is more than a routine or schedule. It is more than warm fuzzy feelings or blessings overflowing all over the place. It is the ultimate reality that I know I have not been living in. It is sooo REAL!!! It is not a surreal figment of the imagination. There is no greater reality. I want to know it. I want to have life to the full. Beyond full. Overflowing even. I know I have to start somewhere. My sluggish attitude has to go. If this is what I want. I have to chase after it. And I will. I will begin to do so. Somehow....I'll do it.

So much excitement

Hey Team...See the colour of the text here??....ya that's about the colour that my new room is going to be! Only 3 days!!!!! Guys I'm freaking out here. It's practically torture having shared a room 19 and a half hears and knowing that in only a few days, I will no longer have to live in such conditions!!! Man....only those of you who have shared a room for your whole lives could possibly know how I must be feeling. It's a fabulous feeling. So, here I am babysitting Quin and Abby once again. After today, chances are slim that I'll be babysitting them again 'cause Clayton and Michelle have found a new sitter for the upcoming year. (tear...sniff sniff) I just love these kids like they're my own. And I LOVE that Quin can talk so well now. He says my name all the time and he talks in semi-full sentences. I just love him to death. I guess I will just have to continue to chase them around after church every Sunday, as has become the weekly tradition. I am also sooooooooooooo ridiculously excite for Melissa's wedding! Man.....I can't even stand how excited I am. It is going to be soooooooooooo much fun. And 'cause it's like the Pastor's daughter's wedding, it's going to be like the ultimate Cornerstone party. Man!!! I can't wait. . It's gonna be awesome. Just hope it warms up a bit. But I should get going now 'cause Abby's rest time is over so we have to go and watch Berenstein Bears now. Good times, good times.

So much excitement...

Hey sorry that I've taken like 5000 years to write anything. We got news from the computer shop that our computer is officially dead and unfixable so, we are now without a computer and it will be a bit until we can get a new one. But here I am trying to make a desperate attempt to write something now while I have the chance. I am currently at Clayton and Michelle's babysitting the two cutest kids in the world. I seriously love Quin and Abby like they were my own flesh and blood. They're my little goofballs. So yes, I am having a fabulous time today with them. Although I now remember how much I hate waking up at 7:00. Starting work at 12:00 or 1:00 is so much better than starting at 8:30. But today is going by pretty quickly so it's all good. So, have I mentioned that I super love my job a lot? 'Cause I really do. Never in my life did I think I would ever like working retail, but suprisingly, I enjoy it quite a bit. I just love it a lot. Although I have been having stress out moments because of my lack of direction in life. I just feel kind of lost, like I have no clue where I'm supposed to be going or what I'm supposed to be doing. I know that stressing about it won't help me any. I know that if I just keep living one day at a time, that eventually, everything will work itself. I'm getting pretty freaking excited to move!!! We get posession of our new house in one week from today and I am freaking excited! One more week of sharing a bedroom and then never again for the rest of my days! Well....until I get married of course. Lol! And I'm getting super pumped for Melissa's wedding!!! I can't even wait. It's going to be the best ever 'cause it's the pastor's daughter and it's just going to be like the hugest Cornerstone party ever!!!! It's gonna rock my world! Yay! Well, I'm gonna run 'cause I'm dying of thirst and I desperately need a drink. Love you! Later!

Happy night

Well tonight was the youth pool party. It was soooo much fun. I didn't get out of the pool for probably at least 2 hours. We ate supper and then swam for a bit and then most people went across the street to the part to play ultimate frisbee. I stayed in the pool with about 10 other people. It was good times indeed. Then slowly everyone got out of the pool and many went home and soon I was alone in the pool. It was fantastic. I just chilled there until the people from the park came back. Then Scott had this brilliant idea that everyone should jump in with their clothes on and go swimming. So pretty much everyone did. It was AwEsOmE!!! Such a blast. I just love my friends soooo very much. They are my shushine! And now I think I'm gonna go straighten up the house a bit and maybe pack my things up. Clayton and Michelle come home tomorrow so this will probably be my last entry for a little bit 'cause my computer at home is still broken. But as soon as it's fixed, you can expect to hear from me again. Well, I'm off. 'Til next time..... :)

Yay for pool parties!

Well, I am feeling very lazy right now. I've spent most of the day reading my Bible c'ause I'm trying to catch up on my behindness. So that's been good. I ate a bowl of popcorn and now I feel kinda sick. I'm super looking forward to this pool party tonight except I am still in search of a way to get there. But I'm not worried. I'm just excited for all the fun that's to be had. OH ya!! Last night my sister and I went out shopping with my mom and we bought bridesmaids dresses for the wedding. They're super cute! They're strapless with some pink flower pattern on them. I super love them a lot. And now I have a dress to wear to Melissa's wedding and Mandy's wedding too! Hurray!!! Well, I'm gonna go now 'cause I gotta get ready to go to the fun fun pool party! Lata!

My feet hurt soooo very much!!!

My feet hurt a lot! I really want a massage!! I worked today from 2:00 until 6:30. It really was pretty dead so I was a tad bored. But I just folded shirts all afternoon 'cause I really enjoy folding shirts. Work was pretty good though, all in all. I took the bus home and it always seems to take sooo long to get here by bus. And plus the bus took a slightly different route than it usually does, so I managed to get off at the wrong place and had to walk 3 blocks. Bah! But how I'm home and I'm hungry hungry hungry!! Perhaps I'll finish the kraft dinner that I had for lunch. I think I may possibly do something with Jasmine tonight. That would be fun. I think I'll give her a call right away. Well...I gotta go find some food before my stomach caves in on itself. Buh bye!

Tonight was fun. I went out for dinner and a movie with my dad. I was glad to do that 'cause my dad and I don't spend enough time together. We went to Moxie's for supper and then we went to see Sahara. Now, that was a freaking awesome movie. I super duper loved it. It was fantastic. Then afterwards, I went over to Jenna's for a fire pit. Jessica was there too. It was fun fun times. Jenna did some burning of some things and then she tried to play the guitar and us sing, but she didn't really know many songs, so it was kinda funny. Then we went inside and listened to some music and stuff for a few minutes before I left. Now I'm back here at my house to myself. Great times. I think I'm gonna go to bed right away. Hey, I have a prayer request for myself. K, I'm reading the Bible chronologically this year, and I'm about 3 weeks or so behind right now. I really want to catch up on that before the end of this week so that I can get back into regular reading and spending time with God. So if you wanted, you could pray for me that I would be able to do that. Thanks! Blessings to y'all!

BIG NEWS!!

K, soooo.....HUGEST NEWS EVER!!!!! So Svend came and picked me up today around 4:45ish and we headed over to the mall where we proceeded to purchase an engagement ring for my mom!!! Sooo....that was sooo exciting. Then tonight at dinner, he asked my mom to marry him!!! Aaaaagggghhhhhh!!!!! My mom is engaged!!!!! She's so freaking happy. She just cried and cried and cried. Their wedding is on August 27th. SO ya, it's not that far away, but they're just gonna have a small wedding and we're going to have it in the backyard of our new house. So ya....that's my super huge news of the day. My brother and sister don't even know yet 'cause they're both out of town this weekend. But I got to be there for it. Tee hee....lucky me. So ya, that's pretty fantastic. THen tonight we went to look at our new house again, (which I am sooooo excited to move into), and then we went to see Mr. and Mrs. Smith. It was super good movie. I really quite enjoyed it a lot. I personally think that Angelina Jolie is one of the most beautiful women on the planet. Ya, the movie was jsut great. But, I'm gonna try and go to sleep now so that I'm not dead tired tomorrow. I have to work from 12:00 until 4:30 and then I'm at Carissa's tomorrow evening. Soooo.....ya! Great day! Love always!

I love my job!!!

Today was a fairly great day. I woke up at like 10:45 and just chilled for a bit. I read my Bible for a bit and did a lesson on biblical evangelism that I got off the internet. It was great. Then I sat at the piano and tried to play anything and everything that I could. I can't wait until Jasmine gives me piano lessons and then I can actually play stuff. Can't even wait. Then I went out rollerblading for a bit. Let me tell you, the roads and sidewalks around here are not nearly as decent as the ones in our end. SO it was a little bumpy and stuff, but it still felt good to get out and do something. Then Svend came and picked me up and took me to work. Work was great. It wasn't even that exciting, but I just love my job super much. I just really enjoy it and the time always flies by. Ya, I just love it. God has really blessed me here. I'm excited to try and get to know the girls that I work with a bit better. They all seem to be super duper nice. Then Svend came and picked me up from work and brought me back here and we ate Burger King together and watched tv. It was fun. I like chillin with Svend. We had a good time. So , now Svend went home and here I am. About to go to bed right away as soon as I finish my converstaion with Astro on msn. So....until next time.....ta ta!

Good day relaxin

Today was a great day. I just chilled around the house for quite a while and just got settled and stuff. Clayton and Michelle have a treadmill in their basement so this morning I worked out for half an hour while watching the Flintstones. It felt real good. It's been a while since I worked out. I enjoyed it. I may do it again tomorrow if I'm feeling up to it. Then at about 2:30 I headed over to YFC to visit Kristen. She wasn't there yet, so I visited with Daryl for a bit until Kristin showed up. Then we all kinda visited together for a while. Eventually Kristin and I left to go to the mall to shop in a certain store for some certain things for a certain shower on Saturday. Good times. We both picked out good stuff. Then we went to Kristin's housesitting house and watched Brat Camp. It's a real great show. It's on on Wednesdays. Everyone should watch. It was fun. Then she brought me back here to my housesitting house where I've been chilling ever since. I'm getting kinda tired, so I think I'll head to bed now. Good night everyone. Sleep tight!

I'm housesitting!!!

Hey everyone! I'm so sorry it's been such a while. My computer is in the shop right now and so I've been unable to post anything. But now I'm housesitting at Clayton and Michelle's for the next 10 days or so, so you can expect to hear from me regularly. Well I started my job at Suzy Shier and I am loving it. I really love the girls that I've met and I am just having an awesome time so far. It's so great to have a job. God really blessed me huge with that. Tonight I went to a heck of a pool party at Jasmine's grandparent's house. It was a super awesome time. I seriously just had so much fun. Afterwards, some of us went back to Scott and Jasmine's for a bit and hung out. We played Catch Phrase, which I love. So that was awesome. And now here I am, all alone in Clayton and Michelle's house, for my first night here. I'm super pumped to have my own house temporarily. Should be a good time. If anyone wants to get a hold of me, look in the church directory under Clayton and Michelle Lane. You'll find me. And I want to have some company while I'm here too. Sooo....if anyone wants to come visit me, you can just go right ahead and come on over. Well, I'm outta here I think. I'm pretty tired. Sooo...that's it for now, I guess. Love y'all!

Sorry for the lack of entries

Hey guys! Sorry, it's been a few days. My computer at home has officially died. It no longer has life within it. But I'm at Jenna's right now so I figured I'd just say a few words while I'm here. So I haven't done too much the last few days other than take in some of the sun's beautiful rays. Worship practice last night was awesome. For once we're not singing insanely high songs. I really love singing low and rarely get to on our worship team, but we get to this week and I'm so excited. Church on Sunday is gonna be awesome. SO Jenna and I decided that we're going on a holiday this winter. We've narrowed it down to either the Bahamas or the Dominican Republic. Should be a good time. I'll be sure to keep you posted on that. So tonight I'm heading out to play ultimate frisbee with all the youthers. I'm pretty pumped for that. Although I need to remember to cut my nails off before then 'cause they are currently far eyond frisbee playing length. But ya, I'm excited. I'm getting pretty excited to start work. Keep me in your prayers, as I am still a little nervous. New things are always kinda scary I think. I'll be alright. But I'm gonna run now 'cause Jenna and I are gonna cook something for supper! Buh bye!

GUESS WHAT!!!!!

You'll never guess what!!!!! So I went for my interview this morning at Suzy Shier and it went awesome!!! I pretty much answered every question right and she hired me right there on the spot!!! I have a job guys!!! At Suzy Shier! I start next Monday! Isn't that the best thing ever??? Wow I am so thrilled about this. GOd is so good to me. He totally provided me with a job right when I needed one super bad. It is just all working out super nice. And I pretty much can just tell her when I can't work and it's like no problem at all. It's super awesome!! I'm so excited about this. This is all I've got to write right now. So there you go! I am no longer a retired bum! Hurray! Love you all!

My great weekend

What a great weekend this has been. On Friday Jenna came and picked me up and took me to her cabin with her as well as her friends Jessica and Denise. It was practically the greatest time ever. When we got there, we headed over th Kadesh to pick up Carla. It was fun to see my friends who are working ther. I saw Kim Krieg and her beautiful engagement ring. I'm so glad for her that she's getting married. Yay! I also saw a guy I know who I had a crush on 2 years ago. It was good to see him, but a tiny bit weird all at the same time. Anyways, then we headed back to the cabin and went wakeboarding until like 10:30. It was sweet fun. So yesterday, we pretty much spent the entire day outside on the water absorbing the beautiful sunshine. We went wakeboarding and tubing a lot. My arms and armpits and upper body is sooooo sore today. I can barely lift my arms up. But it's awesome. I got a pretty decent sunburn too. So now I'm super duper dark. It's awesome. I love being all nice and tanned. It's great. Pretty much what I strive for every summer. So all in all, it was just a great time at the lake. Today was a good day too. Church was good. I woke up nice and early this morning so that I'd have lots of time to get ready and then read my Bible for a bit before sound check at 9:00. It was happy that my worship team was on today. I always love it. And church was jsut good. Russ talked about the Lord's prayer and the importance that it holds. It's kinda funny, ya know? Like this is how Jesus taught us to pray and still I rarely ever find myself praying the Lord's prayer. Maybe there's some ridiculous power that that prayer holds taht I haven't tapped into yet. I love how there are always new aspects to faith and always new things to think about and learn. It's great. God is great. This afternoon I went over to Chris's house and watched Diary of a Mad Black Woman with her and Tamarah. It was just as good as usual. Ya, so I pretty much love Tamarah. I don't know why we don't hang out. She's just pretty darn great. We decided we're gonna hang out more often 'cause we seem to enjoy each other's company quite a bit. Tonight I think I might be watching movies with Svend. I want him to watch Diary of a Mad Black Woman and he has been bugging me for years I think to watch Ghost, so I think we might hit 'em both up tonight. Looking forward to that. Well, I'm off now. My mom wants me for something. Lata!

Dead tired

K, Scott...I know taht you gave me a challenge for this blog, but I can't remember the rules and I am way too tired to try and use my brain right now, so how 'bout next time I'll follow your rules. So VBS ended today. It was a super good time this week, but I am soooo exhausted. As soon as I finish typing, I'm going to have a nap. K, I seriously, don't know waht to say. My brain is too tired to remember anything. I'm going to Jenna's cabin with her tongiht. I'm pretty stoked about that. We're gonna have the best time. I'll be home late tomorrow night probably. Well, I guess that's all. I'm going to sleep now. Later!

Good news!

VBS was fun this morning. There are these two girls in particular who are like in love with me and they always are all over me. IT's awesome though. I practically got attacked by my entire class this morning. They were all jumping on top of me as I lay there on teh floor, and tickling me and hitting me in the face with stuffed animals, and I'm pretty sure, that I caught a glimpse of Daryl video taping all of it. Good times indeed. Afterwards, a crew of us went out for lunch at Ding Dongs. It was fun times indeed. I just love being with all my great people. They're my joy. After lunch, I headed to the mall, where I proceeded to purchase Diary of a Mad Black Woman as well as the soundtrack. Oh, I'm just so happy. Oh my goodness!!!! I just got a call and you'll never believe it..........I have an interview at Suzy Shier on Monday!!!! I'm sooo thrilled! I was just starting to feel kinda hopeless about finding a job and I was asking God today just to get me an interview. Even just an interview somewhere would be a great start. And then they called!!! It's awesome. Please, pray that this could work out for me! I really need a job, and this would just be so great. Pray that I answer all teh questions good. 'Cause I really want this job. K? Thanks y'all. I love you all to death! You know that right? K, good. I'm out. Cya later!

Good night and day

Well here's some good news, Scott told me this morning that he's semi-addicted to my blog! That's pretty awesome! Gotta love having a fan club! So last night I took Jenna to Dairy Queen and bought her a Moolaté 'cause she'd never had one before...the poor soul. So now she has. Then we came back to my house and began the Diary of a Mad Black Woman experience once again. First, we watched all the special features before we started the movie. I love those just as much because Tyler Perry is a Christian and so I just love listening to all he has to say about the movie and stuff. It's awesome. K, I'm not even joking...everyone needs to see this movie. It is too good to go unwatched. So we watched it. And it was wonderful. Have I mentioned lately how very much I love my good friend Jenna? Ya, 'cause I just love her a lot. Sometimes it baffles my mind that we've known each other since we were three. Yes, it's true...we used to live just down the street from each other and play all the time. And we went to preschool together. I just love her and I always will love her. I just want to make sure that everyone knows how much I love her, ok? Ok! VBS was great this morning! I just love all my little 5 year olds. They're soo much fun. And I didn't even lose any kids today...now that I'm teaching them how to walk in a line instead of run in a pack. One of them even called me "Teacher"!! It was awesome! Tee hee! I spent pretty much all afternoon outside suntanning and doing my nails. Seriously, doing my nails is an afternoon event. You can't just do them up in like 5 minutes if you expect them to last for any longer than an hour. So these babies have 5 coats on them today. Hopefully it'll last a while. They look pretty good too, if I do say so myself. Tonight is floor hockey!! Hurray! I'm excited. Jenna and I are probably gonna go and I think that everyone else should come too! It's just a good time. Gotta love floor hockey. Well, I'm gonna run now. Buh bye!

I love Diary of a Mad Black Woman with all of my heart!!!

Well, I feel as though I haven't been writing as much lately. Well here's a bit of a catch up on my last few days. So I am officially obsessed with Diary of a Mad Black Woman. It seriously is pretty much the greatest movie that has ever been created. Seriously, everyone NEEDS to watch this movie! Then you will understand.I had rented it on Thursday so I took it back Saturday night and then I rented it again last night. I went out for coffee to Tim Horton's with Jenna last night. It was soooo fun. We seriously just laughed and talked and laughed the whole time. It was awesome! I explained to her all about the best episode of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition EVER that was on last night. If any of y'all watched it, I would love to know if you thought it was as good as I thought it was. Then we just talked about other things and I told her all about Diary of a Mad Black Woman and so she wanted to watch it, so that's why we rented it. And we watched it. She also loved it We're watching it again tonight. Tee hee. Sooo good! So VBS started this morning!! IT was super fun! It was a tiny bit of a gong show, but that' aok. I kept losing this one girl. Everywhere we went she would just disappear randomly. But it was super fun. I am excited for the rest of the week. Then I probably am going to Jenna's cabin with her on Friday night and Saturday! I am sooooo excited about that! But uhh....ya! I'm off now, 'cause my sister and I are gonna go and play in the spray park by the schools! Yay! Cya lata!

Random

Summer is beautiful. This afternoon, I chilled outside in the backyard with Kevin for a while. And painted my toenails while I was at it. I think that my back got a pretty nice tan. I love tans!! Now all I need is a beach and a smoothie and I'm all set. I think that one day I would like to take a road trip around the States. There are just so many places that I want to go. I think it would be super awesome fun. So ya, there's a random thought for ya. I'm gonna go and watch The Waterboy with Kevin now as he is already watching it. Toodles!

Best movie EVER!!!

So I think I have a new favourite movie. It's called The Diary of a Mad Black Woman. It is soooooooooooo good!!!!!! It was written by a Christian man named Tyler Perry who also plays 3 of the characters in teh movie. And the other guy, Shemar Moore, let me tell you......he is soooo very good looking and pretty much perfect in every way. Well, in the movie anyways. It is just a fabulous movie, and I have full intentions on purchasing this movie so taht I can just watch it over and over forever. I recommend it to every human being on this planet. Watch it. Seriously!

Word of wisdom for females

I got this sent to me in an e-mail and think that every girl on the face of the earth needs to listen to this because this is what we all deserve.


WAIT

Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will stay awake just to watch you sleep. Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you’re just as pretty without makeup on. Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you. Wait for the one who turns to his friends and says, "...that's her."

(author unknown)

I just want to get better!!!!

So I'm getting pretty fed up with this sickness that I'm experiencing. I don't get why I'm not getting any better. I'm getting lots of rest, I'm taking lots of vitamins and other things like that, I'm garggling (if that's how you spell it) like every 2 seconds. I just don't get it. I just want to be able to breath normally and swallow normally and not feel like I'm about to cough up a lung every 5 minutes. I'm sick of it. It's actually starting to frustrate me a bit. I just want it to go away. I have no clue what I'm up to today. It's finally nice outside, so I might try and catch some sun. But I'm leaving now.Goodbye!

Meet The Fockers is FaBuLoUs!!

So this retarded sickness of mine keeps changing forms. At first I like had a flu and was cold and achy all over and just felt like crap. Then I went into like a strep throat kinda phase, and now I have some sort of a chest cough and my nose is stuffy. It's ridiculous. I'm doing everything in my power to get better as quickly as I can. I have worship practice tonight, which I'm really looking forward to, and I am hoping to be able to sing. So y'all could pray that whatever germs have taken residence in my body would quickly pack up and leave. I haven't done much this last week. I feel soooo very lazy. Last night I felt too under the weather to go to floor hockey, so I went and rented Meet The Fockers and watched it. I am a rather large fan of that movie. I seriously thought that it was great. I watched it again this morning. It is quite enjoyable. Now I'm just chillin on the computer for a bit before I go clean my room and the rest of teh house and then I plan on doing my nails, as that hasn't happened in a long time. So...off I go.

No title

Well this day hasn't been too eventful really. I went out for lunch to A & W with Svend and Kevin. That's the first real meal I've eaten in a few days. Now i'm pretty full. Probably good for the rest of the day. I came home and chilled on the computer for a bit and then watched 7th Heaven. Ya ya, I like to watch the old re-runs. So sue me. CSI comes on in about 50 minutes so I went upstairs and grabbed my Bible and I figure I'll do some catching up on my reading. So now, leave me alone so I can read.

Sick of being sick

Last night I went to Tanya Hildebrandt (not sure how to spell that) at the church with Kristen. I quiet enjoyed it. Even though I don't really know her at all I am still glad that I went. I hope that when I get married and have a shower that people that don't know me will come to it. ANyways, it was really fun. And Melissa said that I Can come to her wedding!!!! Like the reception and everything!!! Yay! That is soooo exciting. This means can stop trying to find someone to take me as their guest! SO ya, I am pretty pumped about that. Afterwards Kristen and I went back to her house and sat out on her front lawn and talked for a while about lots of things that girls like to talk about. (wink wink). Ha ha. And then Rhett came over and we chatted for a bit. Then we went over to Rhett's house and had a fire pit and roasted marshmallows. Yummy! THen Kristen and I drove quickly back to my house so I could change my clothes and grab Miss Congeniality 2 which we had rented. Then we headed back to Rhett's and watched it. Kristen fell asleep...of course. It's a great movie though. I do wish that this freaking sore throat of mine would go away. I hate being in pain every single time I swallow. You know, you never notice how often you swallow until it hurts when you do. Believe me, you swallow a lot more than you think. So today, I haven't really gotten around to doing much yet. I played tennis with Kevin on the X Box. Somehow he managed to beat me two matches in a row. Grrrrr. Then I went and had a nice hot shower. I always feel like when I'm in the shower that I'm gonna be healthy by the time my shower is done. I jsut feel like all the germs should be washing away and I won't be sick anymore. Of course, this has never ever happened. But I do wish that it would. Then I headed outside and watered the garden and plants for my mom and and now here I am. I am pretty hungry though. I haven't really eaten that much the last few days due to the agony I experience with each swallow. SO I think I may grab a bit to eat.

I hope I get a job

So I'm not really sure how this happened, but somehow I woke up this morning, absolutely motivated to go job hunting. S after I got muself up and ready and stuff, I printed off 8 resume's and heade on my way. Of course I am without vehicle, so my feet are my transportation. I stopped at the church and chatted with Scott and Jess and Kathy a bit before I made my way to the mall. So ya, I handed out 8 resume's today. Hopefully I will be exactly what someone is looking for and they will hire me. I think that i would just love a job right now. So hopefully I get called soon. Then I made my way back to the church and chatted with Scott for a bit. THen Kristen got there 'cause her and Scott were planning out their recreation business for VBS. It was fun times. Then Kristen and headed home. She came to my house 'cause she wanted to borrow a book. So lent it to her and she went on her way. Now here I am, trying to pass the time until 5:00 when CSI comes on. I do love CSI very much, in case you didn't know.But I think I'm gonna run now. Mostly, by run, I mean get up slowly and leave the computer desk and make my way over to the funto in preparation for SCI. So ya, that's it. Buh bye!

Sick weekend

So basically for the last like 3 days I've been just sitting at home sick. On Saturday I did absolutely nothing all day 'cause I was super cold and achy and my throat hurt real bad. My mom ended up taking me to the medi clinic where I waited for like an hour to get in and see the doctor for about 30 seconds before she sent me out and didn't help me at all. She just took a swab and said that if it't bacterial then they'll get back to me on Monday but otherwise it'll jsut go away on its own. It's so brutal. I seriously have to work up all of my courage each time I have to swallow 'cause it's so painful. It's very slowly getting a bit better and not quite as painful. But it still hurts pretty bad. Whatever. I'll survive I'm sure. Yesterday was a pretty good day. Church was good. It was the youth service and it was really awesome. Scott's an amazing preacher and everyone else was awesome and it was just great. I ended up going out for lunch with some people and then Kristen and I went to the mall for a bit. Then we bought a balloon and a card for her sister 'cause it was her birthday and we took it to her at work. It was fun. Then I just came home. I watched lots of tv and movies last night due to my ill feeling body. Jenna came over and we watched Miss Congeniality 2 with my family. It is a great movie. I thoroughly enjoyed it. Then Jenna went home and I went to bed. Have I mentioned that I just love Jenna sooo very much and that I think she's the greatest and I'm soooo glad that she's home this year? Ya 'cause it's all true. I just love having her around to call and hang out with whenever I want. I just love her. Well I'm gonna go now and get out of my pj's. And hopefully wash away every last germ that's on me in the shower.

I hate being sick

I'm sick. I feel like crap. I'm achy all over. My throat hurts like a freaking donkey. I hate medi-clinics. I just want to be better.

Bored bored bored

Well I'm still feeling kinda achy. And I don't know if I'm the only one on the planet who experiences this, but I have this nasty feeling like I have a snot build up inbetween my throat and my nose. And my throat is also a little sore. I don't want to be sick. Just healthy. That's it. So I'm really super bored and I really want to do something tonight. But I have no clue what to do. I called Kristen and she's not home. And I'm pretty sure Jenna's in Rosthern tonight, and I know that Scott and Jasmine are at a wedding and lots of other people have grad today. And I just want something to do. If someone else is bored like me, please call me and we'll do soemthing together, k?

Feeling kinda sick

This morning was kinda lazy. I woke up around 10:30 and then chilled on the computer until around lunch time. There goes the whole morning. Oh well. This afternoon I feel in the mood to clean. Not sure why...it rarely happens, so I figure I might as well clean while I'm in the mood. My mom wants us to get on top of things in terms of cleaning and throwing stuff out and packing and what not. Which will not be a problem for me...my brother and sister might be a different story. Oh well. I'm feeling a tad cold and achy right now. You know like the early stages of being sick. I took some ibuprofin, so I hope that that helps. I want to do something with some people tonight. But I'm just not sure what or where or anything. SO if anyone wants to do something, then let me know, 'cause I would love to hang out wiht you tonight.

Fun times

Today ended up being pretty great. This afternoon, I went and picked up Jasmine from the U of S at 2:30ish, except that I was late 'cause of the million detours I encountered on the way there. Retarded!! So we went to Circle Park Mall to see if there were any matinee's playing that we wanted to see, but there were none starting for like another hour or so, so we just left. We went to Montana's and shared some spinach dip. It was fabulous. Then we headed over to her and Scott's house and chilled for a bit while I desparately tried to find someone who felt like babysitting tonight. Sadly, no one on this entire planet did. Shoot. So Jasmine and I went swimming in her grandparent's pool for a bit. It was soooo cold outside when you're wet. As long as we stayed under the water, we were good. But getting out was brutal. It was just so ridiculously windy today. It was pretty dumb. But we still had fun though. Trying to play volleyball with blown up beach balls in the wind isn't the easiest thing ever. But whatever. It was still great. So I couldn't keep on hanging out with Jasmine 'cause I had to go babysit, which wasn't so bad in the end after all. I just played with the kids for like an hour and then they went to bed. I watched Meet The Parents 'cause I hadn't seen it in a very long time and I didn't really remember it. And I think I'd like to see Meet The Fockers and so I figured it would help if I remembered what happened in the first movie. But ya, so that was fun. Although I feel kinda sick from eating popcorn. But hey, what can you do. Now I am gonna go to bed I think and try and wake up before noon tomorrow. G'night!