A desire for more

Wow, what an incredible God I worship. I feel like right now, I barely know him. I feel as if I have been pushing myself away from him in an attempt to be self sufficient and self reliant. But I realize that deep down in the corners of my heart I have always known what I was missing out on by doing this. My life has been merely drifting along without a realy purpose or direction. I feel like I have been simply existing instead of truly living this life that I was placed here to live. And I'm the one who's being cut short. God wants to walk with me down this path of life. It was, after all, he who gave life to me. Why should I not allow myself to be accompanied along this journey by the very one who put breath in my nostrils? I mean, really, who knows better what steps I am meant to take each day than the one who knew all the days ordained for me before one of them even came to be? I desire more for my life than what I am experiencing. I desire God and all his glory to radiate from my life. I want others to truly see Christ in me, whether they even know him or not. I've been reading Dwayne Harms' blog. I want to try and understand who this man was and try to grasp any amount of wisdom and insight from him that I can. I hae barely even made it into the beginning of July and already this man is teaching me so much about living in a relationship with Christ. It is more than a lifestyle. It is more than a routine or schedule. It is more than warm fuzzy feelings or blessings overflowing all over the place. It is the ultimate reality that I know I have not been living in. It is sooo REAL!!! It is not a surreal figment of the imagination. There is no greater reality. I want to know it. I want to have life to the full. Beyond full. Overflowing even. I know I have to start somewhere. My sluggish attitude has to go. If this is what I want. I have to chase after it. And I will. I will begin to do so. Somehow....I'll do it.